J: What's the fate of that pickle?
L: Unloved. Unwanted. Thrown away out back.
J: I am into adopting things. I got me a dog. I got a little boy. I got a little girl. And now Imma get me a pickle.
L: But what are your credentials?
K: Yes, how do we know you're a suitable guardian for a pic - OH MY GOD SHE BIT IT!